Breakfast
Breakfast should be eaten after taking a morning walk, should be purchased from a panadería (a small bakery shop selling light and flakey pastries filled with jam, ham, cheese or chocolate), and should be enjoyed in a leisurely manner while sitting on a bench, near a fountain, watching the birds.
Tapas
Tapas are appetizer sized snacks that are served after siesta, between 3 and 6. Upon ordering a tapa, you should receive a free glass of wine and a small plate of bread with green olives. The best tapa with a white wine is either the Manchego cheese (slightly crumbly) or thinly sliced ham.
When eating tapas, sit at the bar or out on the patio. Whole families can go out for tapas, with five year olds spinning on bar stools and fathers smoking thick cigars.
Lunch and Dinner
Even after your internal clock changes, you will want to eat lunch around noon. Okay. Dinner, however, even when dining out, may not begin until nine or ten at night. Therefore, eat tapas.
No Free Bread
Your waiter approaches your table, and instead of any of the normal, “Hi, my name is . . .” dialogue, you are expected to order drinks and quite possibly your entire meal, including desert. Do this. Know what you want to drink and order two plates for yourself, primer plato y segundo plato (it’s like two ‘courses’). If they ask if you want any bread, remember:
- There are only two waiters/waitresses for the entire restaurant. They are busy.
- You will not know your server’s name and will not see him/her unless he/she is bringing you something.
Your waitress does not want to have a long conversation with you, if any at all. Your waiter is there merely to bring you your food, not to make you feel any sense of atmosphere or attachment to the restaurant. If you want to chat, do so at the bar during tapas.
And, since selling bread in Spain is profitable, you will pay for your bread.
